WHAT IS A LIFE COACH?
Simply put, a life coach is someone who can help you get perspective on your life and your mind.
Life coaching is not cheesy. It’s not based on something shallow or unscientific. It is, more often than not, a game changer for good.
Vikki Brock, a coach whose doctoral dissertation had a major influence on the coaching profession, says the following:
Coaching came into existence to fill an unmet need, which coincided with the shift away from a model of psychological illness and toward the humanistic ideal of wellness. And growth.
- A life coach is not a friend who will commiserate with your self induced suffering.
- A life coach is not a substitute for a therapist who will treat acute mental disorders and diseases.
- A life coach will not endlessly explore your past or allow you to retell your painful life stories as if they’re still the cause of your discomfort.
Life coaching is not cheesy. It’s not based on something shallow or unscientific. It is, more often than not, a game changer for good.
Vikki Brock, a coach whose doctoral dissertation had a major influence on the coaching profession, says the following:
Coaching came into existence to fill an unmet need, which coincided with the shift away from a model of psychological illness and toward the humanistic ideal of wellness. And growth.
We agree. Coaching is about taking healthy people and helping them make their good lives awesome.
Your brain is the most powerful thing you have in the world. Everything you do, and the results you create, are all caused by the thoughts within your brain.
WHAT WE DO
- We teach you how to coach YOURSELF.
- We teach you how to feel better.
- We teach you how to take massive action.
Coaching is “mind training.” Much as a tennis coach works with a player to understand and analyze performance in both practice and a game, a life coach works with clients to understand and analyze what they are doing in their cognitive, emotional, and behavioral lives. The coach has an objective vantage point—a different perspective from which they can spot what’s working as well as areas for change and improvement. This is as essential for a welllived life as it is for a well-played sport.
Anatomy of an Issue
Every issue we encounter in our lives can be categorized and broken down into five interrelated components, with changes in one component affecting the others. Understanding how this works gives you great insight into where your mind is and how to proceed with coaching, and eventually self coaching. No matter what issue you are experiencing, we can find the cause and begin coaching there.
The five components are:
• Circumstances
• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Actions
• Results
• Circumstances
• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Actions
• Results
When you understand each of these components, we can clearly identify the problem you are experiencing and decide which category it fits into. We can then uncover the root cause of the problem and build a picture of what’s going on in each of the other components. This is because our thoughts about our circumstances cause our feelings, which cause our actions, which ultimately create results in our lives.
Circumstances are the things that happen in the world around us—things we don’t control. Examples include the weather, our pasts, and other people’s behavior. These are things we cannot directly change.
Thoughts are the sentences that constantly run through our minds. Sometimes we’re aware of our thoughts, but often we aren’t. We choose thoughts about the circumstances in our lives. Examples include “I’m not good enough” or "My boss doesn’t appreciate my work.” We can’t change our circumstances, but we can change what we think (our thoughts) about those circumstances. Feelings are the emotions or vibrations we experience in our bodies, and they’re directly related to the thoughts we’re thinking. Examples include anger, sadness, excitement, etc. Don’t confuse feelings with physical, involuntary sensations such as hunger, cold, reflexes, and physical pain. Emotions are voluntary because we can change what we feel by changing our thoughts. Actions refer to behaviors, reactions, or inaction, and they’re directly related to our feelings. Examples include eating when we’re not hungry because we’re feeling lonely, avoiding interaction with the boss because we’re feeling angry, and withdrawing from relationships because we’re feeling sad. If we want different actions, we can choose different feelings. Results are the effects of our actions. Examples include being overweight because we’ve been eating when we’re not hungry and having dysfunctional work relationships because we’re avoiding interactions with the boss. Choosing different actions will lead us to different results. |
Your current thinking is what creates your current life.
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It’s absolutely imperative for you to know that circumstances or facts are not the cause of pain—thoughts are. It is common to believe that you are the victim of your circumstances. It’s our job to teach you that you are only a victim of your own mind.
Whatever has happened to you or is happening to you doesn’t cause the emotional pain. It’s your thinking that causes the emotional pain. This isn’t the same as condoning someone else’s behavior—it’s simply taking complete responsibility for our own minds. Knowing this basic structure of human behavior, emotion, and cognition is the ultimate basic knowledge for all good coaching that leads to self coaching. No matter what you present with, you will discover its cause by understanding that circumstances trigger thoughts, which cause feelings, which drive actions, which create results. |
When we understand how our minds work, we can actively create our experience.
The cause of problems can always be traced back to our thinking and how we choose to interpret circumstances or events.
Good coaching always seeks to find the cause. This applies to all areas of coaching—from overeating to overspending to relationship and career issues. We can treat the problem by trying to change your actions (symptoms), but unless we treat the cause of those actions, we will not be offering you a permanent solution. To treat the cause, it’s essential to understand that thoughts cause the feelings that drive your actions.